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When you become weak and broken, the unprepared enemy too can defeat you easily. The cracks in the Western systems have started to surface, merely after about 500 years of its creation. Why is the age-old Indian systems facing the brunt again and again; for 1500 years now?
BACKDROP – The Western & Mid-Eastern systems may be inherently weak but they have a, what we can roughly call, a conspiracy framework; and to add to that, an excellent execution and coordination among various components. Our own case is just the contrasting opposite – we have inherently strong fundamentals, but our execution for the last 1500 years has been crumbling down.
DISCLAIMER 1 – When I am referring to Hindu family in this write up, the intent is reflective self-analysis, a homework; and not to indicate intolerance for subscribers of other faith systems. Actually, that’s none of my business – they are what they are; and I leave it entirely up to them.
SYMPTOMS – If we do a survey, we will find that 90 percent of the families are strained for some or the other reason, or, are almost dysfunctional, or are likely to lose direction within the next 10 years. If we look at the scenario from the lens of couples, their priority will not be to be involved in Dharmik purposes, but to first secure their own future and their own family. To secure the child’s education and their own profession is their first priority. (Keeping exceptional parents apart), until they are sure about this part of their life, they will just not come forward to collaborate for collective goals. This is the reason we do not have the street power as they say.
I do not say that whatever we are going to discuss in this article is going to solve all the problems. It is one of the multiple components. It is part of a bigger framework. And it may not give results on an instant basis. But it is based upon sound fundamentals. If we can have cartel-level coordination for a few years then it will start showing visible results.
CASE STATEMENT – In this discussion I will cover only one component; the parenting styles prevailing in a normal Hindu family, and how to reset it. The main problems that we need to address immediately are –
- Hindu families begin very late – by the time the youth is on an average 28, 30 or 32. ◾ Meaning, we have already lost almost 20 years per couple, 10+10, if they had begin a family life almost at the age of 22. Quantify this against what the adversary does in this 20 years time they have in the disposal – they produce on an average four children. At age 35, H couple has one child of 3 years, and “they” have 4 children of 10-16 years.
- When we start the family, we are already professionally too busy – working on average 12 or 15 hours per day in a corporate lifestyle. And on the weekends we are too tired to think about doing anything out of the zone of relaxation. ◾ Meaning, an average family just does not have time to sit back and analyse the problems that are approaching to him very rapidly. Forget being prepared to respond to it altogether… Unprepared enemy = easy win
- Because of migration and other factors, on an average, we are fourth, fifth or sixth generation of nuclear families that have been cut off from the joint family system which was a seamless system, a nurturing ground for passing on culture and Sanskar. ◾ Meaning, an average couple today is unprepared and incapable to guide their own children on the matters of Sanskar.
- An average Hindu child is almost an orphan – parents do not have time for her, in the school he is just one in the crowd 40, 50 pupils sitting together, he is sent off to coaching class in the evening hours where again he is alienated in the crowd, and then there is pressure from friends and devices ◾ Meaning, The Hindu child grows up without any self definition, without any purpose of life, without any emotional strength, has no clear sense of direction – all the factors that go a long way in character building.
If there is a solution that expects the parents to do something for the Dharmik causes, then you can expect it to simply fall through. There simply is too much resistance, there are too many questions; sandwiched with too many perceptions and infinite suggestions. Few of them may want to almost hijack the discussion!
CORNER STONES – Our approach is straightforward – (1) To begin where they are, (2) to address what parents (legitimally) expect, (3) to develop a solution that remains relevant even in the favorable times when there is no threat of adversary. If there’s a well defined program, then, an average Hindu parent can be prepared in involve in –
- Improving the career-readiness of the child – if the couple is guided well, to do all that it takes for child’s professional success ◾ Social status, security of future
- Improving the work life balance and improving the quality of life ◾ Improving day to day living, Sense of control on life
- Improving the financial scenario of the family ◾ Money matters; financial happiness.
Although this is a slightly difficult task, it is very important one – to first set the families right. No short-cuts.
SOLUTION – Addwit Institute has created frameworks and programs by carefully harmonizing (1) the concurrent lifestyles and expectations with (2) the ancient knowledge system – to address the above mentioned priorities.
- Framework based upon the SIX critical life positions – which will give them a long-range view of effectively managing the family across two generations (parents, children).
- With this clarity, they will be able to appreciate other Addwit programs – for example (1) Addwit Family Factor, (2) Addwit Money Matters, (3) Addwit Expression Builder, etc.
- Equally important is adopting the right pedagogy. Expecting them to read books won’t work. Expecting them to watch from YouTube videos doesn’t work. Transparent, two-way, purposeful communication; and thereby adopting a community building approach, based upon subscription model – this is how Addwit is organising the society & culture to sustain the next 500 years.
BENCHMARKS – For being sustainable, a solution must not only be compliant with the culture, but also be viable on all the four parameters – it must be socially viable, it must be financially self-sustained and viable, it must be academically validate-able, and (at the appropriate time), it must be policy-worthy whenever required to be adopted in large scale / to qualify to become a CSR / government / community funded project.
OUR GOAL – Phase 1– Setting up parenting foundations right; using a parallel handholding framework for parents; then, in Phase 2 – Setting up an independent schooling system that reduces the school tenure from 14 years to 7.years.
Read this post from High Commissioner of Sigapore in New Delhi. He has narrated and shared picures of his visit to one of his staff for his son’s irthday. He adds – “A good ground level look at a 3-generation household and their hopes for the future” POINT – The world knows –Family matters.
CLOSING & CALLING – One of the initial percpts upon which Addwit Institute has been founded is – The future of a nation is written inside the closed doors of its families. Mothers, Teachers; please take the lead. Father, husband and brother/s shall be glad to support the journey in its thick and thin.
DISCLAIMER 2– There is ‘scope’ for an article, and not ALL the information that we have, could be covered in this one..
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